Commonly asked questions about dating

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Not trying to change you, but trying to bring the best to the top.

A spouse should be like a gold miner, going under the surface to uncover the invaluable stuff underneath.

We all go through intense communication training for years; it’s called childhood.

() And it’s hard to un-wire 18 years of being shown how to talk and listen to others in family situations.

Do you feel fragmented when you’re with your partner or do you feel whole? Is your partner trying to force you to become like some figment of their unrealistic dating imagination?

Or are they challenging you to become a better, authentic you?

Not all values are the same and sometimes you can have two very good people with very good values, but those values can feel at war with each other.

As I wrote in “If your core values can’t dance together, then you’ll keep tripping, falling and wondering why you can’t move together in rhythm.” For example, you could have a high value for responsibility and the person you’re dating could have a high value for risk.

Or are they trying to bury you under a pile of dirt?

Are you fitting and conforming to some abstract idea of what you think they want?

Or are you blossoming and flourishing into who you really are?

When I was dating I remember constantly being smothered with that giant question like a bloated bear was sitting on my head, refusing to move. But how are you supposed to know which “One’ is the right one?

To magically stumble upon like finding the gold at the end of a rainbow that is being carried by a unicorn with leprechaun jockey.

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