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On average, men find women with some psychological vulnerability more attractive, according to a 2012 University of Texas at Austin study which looked at the connection between sexual exploitability and sexual attraction.
This is not necessarily problematic, explained clinical psychologist and relationship expert Barbara Greenberg, but it can become a substantial cause for concern for those experiencing severe suffering who may be less likely to protect themselves. I later found out this can be a typical occurrence for people who are depressed.
But for me, a bisexual and queer woman who at the time was primarily dating cis-gendered straight men, it meant a stream of partners being attracted to, and enjoying, my inability to stand up for myself: an excuse to sleep with a “beautifully fragile” woman who would not ask for much in return.
The fact that an aura of sadness can attract partners is not uncommon.
, wearing a ripped Diane Von Furstenberg dress and the label of Major Depressive Disorder.
We are worried about the predators who come at it from a place of bad intention—a person who probably has either a narcissistic or antisocial personality, somebody who lacks empathy.”Indeed, one of the most twisted guys I dated during my lowest was a man whose label read “Antisocial Personality Disorder.” He wore it loudly through lies, a lack of empathy, and eventually, verbal abuse.Of course, dating with depression is very different when you’re in a long-term relationship than when you’re single.A reliable, committed partner will educate themselves about their significant other’s sickness (and yes, depression is a sickness, not a moral failing) and learn how to be supportive.A supportive community along with self-care during periods of depression can also help you tune into your needs, and as a result, sniff out the bad guys.With the support of friends, family, and sometimes therapy, you’re less likely to rely on unhealthy partners as a means of companionship.