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What roles do love and affection play in your life? Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.30.

Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s? How do you feel about your relationship with your mother? Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.29. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about? If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item.

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Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

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The idea is that mutual vulnerability fosters closeness. “Two minutes is just enough to be terrified,” she told me. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

To quote the study’s authors, “One key pattern associated with the development of a close relationship among peers is sustained, escalating, reciprocal, personal self-disclosure.” Allowing oneself to be vulnerable with another person can be exceedingly difficult, so this exercise forces the issue. Catron and her friend try — staring into each other’s eyes for four minutes — is less well documented, with the suggested duration ranging from two minutes to four.

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